Cold as F*ck


During my daytime job, I had decided I was going to knit hats for all my technicians. This was a huge task, but I wanted something unique and personal to each one of them. One of my favorite techs has the mouth of a trucker; F-bombs dropped everywhere. So, this seemed like the best option for the job haha.

Worked in the round, Cold as Fuck contains written directions and charts. This hat pattern features 3 sizes.

Cold as Fuck is written to be worked on circular needles. When the crown becomes too small to continue, you’ll switch to the magic loop method. However, the pattern notes do contain details should you wish to use double pointed needles throughout instead.

Curt is seen here wearing the medium size and has a 22” (56 cm) circumference head.


Cold as Fuck is available in English.

Skill Level

Materials List
• US4 (3.5 mm) 16” (40 cm) circular needle, or size required to obtain gauge
• US6 (4 mm) 16” (40 cm) circular needle, or size required to obtain gauge
• Four US6 (4 mm) double pointed needles (DPNs), or size required to obtain gauge (These are optional if you prefer not to work the crown with magic loop.)
• Tapestry needle
• Stitch marker
• Pompom (optional)
• Main color: 150-175 yds (138-160 m) sport weight yarn
• Contrast Color: 60-100 yds (138-160 m) sport weight yarn

Suggested Yarn
Main Color:
Cascade Yarns 220 – Superwash Sport
100% Merino
136 yds (152 m) / 1.7 oz (50 g)
Colorway: Colonial Blue
Contrast Color:
Cascade Yarns 220 – Superwash Sport
100% Merino
136 yds (152 m) / 1.7 oz (50 g)
Colorway: White

24 stitches by 32 rounds in stockinette stitch =
4”/ 10 cm on US6 (4 mm) needles, after blocking.
Gauge is crucial in obtaining the correct fit. Changes in gauge will result in size difference for your finished hat.

Finished Measurements
16 (20, 24)”/ 41 (51, 61) cm brim circumference, 10”/ 25 cm in length. An ideal size for 16-18 (20-22, 24-26)”/ 41-46 (51-56, 61-66) cm circumference heads.

NOTE ABOUT LOW VISION FORMAT A large print/low visibility English version of this pattern is available in this download, with 22pt print in Arial. The large print/low visibility pattern contains written directions only; there are no charts or schematics. This document was accessibility checked by MS Word and works with the read-aloud function as well.

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